Psalm 139:23

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way of the everlasting."

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Today as I was walking to my 9:30 class the beautiful leaves that have changed from green to red were falling to the ground all around me. The cool wind was hitting my face & for just a moment I remembered... my God made this! The seasons change just like life changes. There's a time for everything... new beginnings & new endings every day... God by His infinite wisdom gave us physical reminders of the new beginnings He gives us daily...

I am so grateful for the new beginnings in my life & for the doors that have been shut by the one who is in control. Time & time again God has given me new beginnings with the changes of seasons. So much has changed in my life in the last year. I refer to 2010 so often as the worst year of my life, that my friends have also been referring to it as a bad year. In many ways it can correctly be called a bad year... I lost ten people in the last year & experienced several other trials. However, in the last two months God has been blessing me immensely in the year of 2010. God has a funny way of doing things. Last September when I broke up with my boyfriend, I wanted a "new" beginning. I never would've thought by any stretch of the imagination that we would ever get back together. We were great friends, but nothing more. My Grammy told me a long time ago, "Let him go if necessary. If it is meant to be he will come back to you. If you doesn't , he was never yours to begin with." So this was how I made my decision... if this is who God has planned for me in some crazy way we will get back together. And that is exactly what happened!

As the seasons change in the world, seasons change emotionally and spiritually with people. A year later Curtis & I are completely different people then we were last year. Because we serve a God of healing, we are stronger then we were. We have learned tough lessons & we have learned most importantly how to give it all to HIM.... how to give up the fight. Curtis is better at this then I am. He submits to God's wisdom easily, I have to fight until there's nothing left & then submit. I am so blessed to have a man who leads me in submission to my Father. 

Today I am thankful for the blessings of 2010 & all the blessings of the last 20 years of my life. I am thankful that I have a Nanny & Papa that are still alive to teach & love their grandkids. I am thankful for my Grammy & everything she taught me in my first 16 years of life. I am thankful for my Grandpa & the faith giant he has been & the things he has taught me through how he lives every day in spite of the loss of his soulmate. I am thankful that my Daddy is still alive 10 years after his surgery & that God acted on behalf of our family so that we could grow up with him. I am thankful for my Mom & all the wonderful things she has taught me & done for me & all the sacrifices that have been made. I am thankful for a brother who is my best friend. I am thankful for my extended family, extra families, & Curtis' family. I am thankful for an Uncle, Aunt, & cousins who have always stood beside me. I am thankful for a boyfriend who stands beside me in my ministry & works alongside me as we work for the Lord in His kingdom. I am thankful for each & every person at Contact & the ministry God has so graciously allowed me to be a part of. I am thankful for the ministers & teachers that have grown, challenged, & shaped me. I am most thankful for a God of new beginnings & closed doors. He is always there showing me clearly what He desires for my life to be. 

Thank you Lord for my family, friends, church family, & all the blessings you poured on me in the year of 2010. Thank you for new beginnings & closed doors. Thank you most of all for an empty tomb & a risen savior. May you get the glory & the praise in this life & in the life to come. 

  There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

  a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
  a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
  a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
  a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
  a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
  a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
  a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

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