Often in life I find myself trying to avoid struggle. Let's be honest, struggle is painful. As humans we have an innate desire to avoid pain. Yet struggles exist in every day life to some extent or another. If struggle is an unavoidable part of life how do we handle it?
As seasons change in life my struggles become different things. When I was a teen my biggest struggle involved things like losing my cell phone charger. Watching as my battery slowly decreased was a dreadful process, which now seems utterly ridiculous! We spend so much of life surrounded by gifts that we can't even recognize because we are too busy fighting whatever the "struggle" is of that given moment.
For the past few years my largest battle has been against my own body. When my symptoms worsened I wanted to run from this struggle. I spent several months wrestling with God & looking for a way out. What I have come to realize is that I am not meant to simply find a way out. God is continually changing my heart & that is taking place through the struggle of illness.
This week I've experienced a few good days. On those good days I found myself thanking God for things like restful sleep, energy, & days without migraines. I rejoiced in time spent with my husband, family, & Contact kids. I soaked in the beauty of a sunset. This week I have been utterly captivated by God's goodness!
What I came to realize through my prayers of thanksgiving was just how much I've taken for granted. I spent nineteen years of my life ridiculously healthy. I thanked God for "health", but it didn't mean the same thing that it means today. I didn't know the struggle & therefore I didn't know the joy of the simple gifts we receive every day.
For so long I have wanted to go back & change this. I just wanted my "life" back. Today I can say I would not change it. I am learning every day to embrace the struggle that I have been given. I would not have chosen this path. It is far more difficult than even I could have imagined. Yet it is a beautiful masterpiece of God's goodness in the midst of trouble. Someone told me once that God does not always save us from the fire, but He always shows up with us in the fire. Every day I learn just a little more about that truth. I do not serve a God who chooses to protect me from the pain. I serve a God who chooses to use the pain & because of that I get to embrace the struggle.
As we all begin a new week instead of dreading Monday enjoy the moment. Whatever your struggle is choose to embrace it instead of run from it. Find God's goodness in the midst of the pain. He is there... always loving, always growing, & always shaping you into what you have yet to become.
My prayer this week is that I would look less like Kayla & more like Jesus. I want God to use the struggle of Lyme Disease to show His infinite power, for when I am weak He is strong!
2 Corinthians 12:9- But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
"Embrace the struggle & let is make you stronger. It won't last forever!"